She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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