I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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