Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
