If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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