I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
