i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
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