Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
