We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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