Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
