There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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