I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
