dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
