i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
