What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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