Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
