I'm gonna have a badass scar
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he thought i was a dude.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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