I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Someone signed my nipple.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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