I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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