Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This toilet bowl is my home.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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