They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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