I want to make a zoo with you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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