is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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