Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
