I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dear god my vagina.
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