community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
