this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Someone signed my nipple.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
