I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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