going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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