shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
