i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
