I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
