Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
