i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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