what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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