Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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