my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
