i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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