he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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