it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
