you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
