so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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