We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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