The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
