I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
