Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
