This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
