Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
