"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
