his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
