Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
