He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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