you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I believe in your delicious
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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