I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
