Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
