Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
